Dirty Play


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of the rights to Blood Bowl (I'd be much plumper in the wallet if I did) and make no claim to do so -- this is simply a bit of fiction set in some version of the universe created by the great minds behind the original game.


"Welcome, sports fans, back to CabalVision's live coverage of this Midwinter Festival celebration match. We're coming up on the closing minutes of the first half of this brutal battle between local boys the Swinebog Scammers and the Xipota Zephyrs, hailing all the way from the jungles of Lustria. I'm Jim Johnson, and here with me in the commentary box is my good friend Bob Bifford."

"Thanks Jim, and I just want to say that whilst neither of these teams might be big names in the leagues, the sponsors seem to have chosen well when they picked them for this special event match."

"No argument here, Bob. The Scammers might be about as good at actual play as any other Goblin team, but they're certainly good for some entertainment, and whilst the Zephyrs might be used to a warmer climate, I don't think I've seen any sign that the snow on the ground has posed them any problems."

"That'll be the Norse ancestors all of the Amazon tribes have, I guess Jim. They certainly look like they've inherited the love of a good fight, too. From the way the game has gone so far, there seems to be no doubt that the Apothecary's Guild's annual conference is going to have plenty of patients to use for their seminars tomorrow."

"Assuming, of course, that any candidates live that long, Bob."

"Very true, Jim. Very true."

"From the look of things, play is about to resume, with the Zephyrs kicking off, and... Here we go! The kick is good, and there's no sign of the rioting that accompanied the last kick-off."

"At least the fans were having fun, Jim."

"That they are, Bob."


With an explosive burst of movement, Karlita pounced, smoothly muscled limbs driving her forward from where she'd been lined up awaiting the kick-off and sending her straight for the dark-robed Goblin that had set himself opposite her as the two teams had been readying themselves for the play to begin. She gave him credit for guts, but he lost a fair amount for brains, since his reward for leaping to intercept her was a iron-knuckled gauntlet to the chops.

A pained squawk, a graceless tumble, and the greenskin was out of her way, leaving the path open for her to join Beltha and Keely in a run for the end-zone. Which, a moment later, turned out to be somewhat less than likely to happen, since the huge, hulking monstrosity that was the Goblin's single most effective brawler stopped scratching its indescribably ugly head and reached out to swat Beltha aside.

The blitzer flew a good couple of yards under the Troll's blow, taking Keely down with her in a tangle of limbs, and Karlita had a nasty premonition that no matter how well this drive had started -- there were half a dozen Goblins in untidy heaps on the astrogranite already -- the momentum was not going to stay on their side for much longer.

That became even more obvious as she ducked a wild swing from another Goblin, watching out of the corner of her eye as yet another greenskin scampered along the pitch, ball held triumphantly over his head, eyes set on the Zephyr's end-zone.

Not that he got all that close to it, of course. Not with the general melee that was the scrimmage line in the way, but Karlita spotted a possible hole in that line and jinked around to cover it.

Uselessly, as it turned out, because the Goblin ball carrier didn't run to make the touchdown. Instead, that damned Troll let out a gross-sounding chuckle, pushed another of Karlita's team-mates face-first into the ground, and scooped up the Goblin in a grotesquely over-sized paw.

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me..."

Apparently not. A powerful surge of the Troll's arm sent the Goblin arcing through the air, cackling maniacally with a combination of exhilaration and the mushrooms the little bastards feasted on and accompanied by a roar from the watching crowd. Trusting the rest of her team to hold the rest of the greenskins back, Karlita charged down the pitch, heading to intercept the Goblin before he could land and score.

Which, as it turned out, was yet another brilliant plan that did not unfold as might have been liked. She got herself in place, true, and would have made the Goblin's landing even more of a hazard than it normally would have been, but something small, round, and fizzing sailed toward her from the grinning Goblin, and she had to make a frantic dive to one side to avoid catching the thing in the face.

With a shattering explosion, the bomb detonated, leaving a smear of smoke and shrapnel in the air, and what felt like the weight of the world landed square on Karlita's back, slamming her into the turf hard, and leaving her gasping and breathless. Luckily, her armour, skimpy as many seemed to think it was, held and protected her from serious harm, but she was still unable to do a damned thing to stop the capering Goblin from scuttling into the end-zone.


"An unconventional tactic, Jim, but one that certainly works when they can pull it off."

"As we've just seen, Bob. The Amazons don't look pleased by the fact that the score is now tied at one all, and one of their blitzers is taking a nap in the dugout as the teams take their places again."

"Getting punched in the head by a Troll does tend to have that kind of effect, Jim. And it wouldn't surprise me if the Zephyr player on the receiving end of the throw hasn't got a score to settle after the mess that landing made."

"Frankly, Bob, I'd be amazed. Amazons don't take that sort of thing lightly, and I can see that the Zephyr fans are getting more than a little riled up by the event as well."

"Let's be honest, Jim, the fans of any Amazon team get worked up if anyone lays a hand on their favourite players."

"Except for them, of course."

"We can but dream, Jim."


Someone in the crowd had obviously taken exception to the fact that the Scammers has scored, and as the ball sailed upward, energetically propelled by the runty little greenskin that had kicked it, Karlita grinned as the Goblin in front of her went suddenly cross-eyed and toppled slowly over, the rock that had just cracked him in the side of the skull rolling onto the ground with him.

She was hardly going to object to that little development, and it would have been downright rude not to take advantage of the opening it offered. The Goblin might not have agreed, but since he was already unconscious when her armoured foot ground down into his gut as she charged forward over him, any objection he might have had was soundly ignored.

"Galli!" Karlita snapped over her shoulder, turning just enough to plough her shoulder into a Goblin and glance backward at the team-mate she'd called to. The thrower, catching her eye, flashed a grin and nodded before reaching out a hand to almost casually snatch the ball from the air as Meika scooped it from the ground and passed it with a low, fast toss.

Okay, now to make it actually work.

Reaching out, she grabbed a Goblin by the back of his ratty black robe, dragging him from the general melee that was forming in the middle of the pitch and yanking him clear off of the ground. His mad thrashing knocked his hood back a bit, and Karlita's lips peeled back in an unfriendly grin as she recognised the one who'd tried to blow her ass up a couple of minutes before. Hauling a foot back, she dropped him, a kick snapping forward to slam up between his legs, making his eyes bulge and a strangled scream whimper out of his throat as he took flight for a few feet and rolled across the ground after landing.

For an added bonus, he very nearly tripped the Troll in the process, though watching that very nearly cost Karlita dearly when another Goblin lashed out at her with a heavy iron ball and chain that he'd somehow managed to get onto the field without anyone noticing. Which was impressive, since it wasn't much smaller than he was. Ducking back sharply, Karlita managed to avoid getting smashed, and she bit out a curse as she saw the chance to get past the other team's line vanishing in front of her eyes.

Luckily, she wasn't on the field alone, and two of her team-mates, Raina and Joi, moved in at her flanks. The Goblin with the ball, grinning like the drugged-up lunatic that he was, span wildly, the rough sphere of iron humming viciously through the air. Over the greenskin's head, Karlita spotted the black-and-white striped shirt of the referee, and the dark elf wearing it was looking at the fanatical Goblin with extreme disapproval. She made no effort to curtail the creature's antics, however, or banish it from the field. Instead, there was an imperiously arrogant wave of a hand, and the fanatic launched abruptly into the air, still giggling maniacally, to sail across the pitch.

By the time he landed, the cheers and jeers of the fans filling the air, the ball and chain had wrapped themselves around him in an impressively complicated knot, and there was nothing between Karlita and the Goblin end zone.

An opportunity she wasn't dumb enough to ignore, and as Raina and Joi surged forward to keep the hole open, she gave them both a slap on the back of their helmets, a quick bit of thanks for the backup, and sprinted toward the far end of the field. Two of the Goblins saw her, however, and started pounding across the astrogranite to intercept her.

Two on one might be fun, but not under these circumstances...

A Goblin's innate lack of grace came to the rescue, however, when one of them managed to trip over his own feet, tumbling and rolling for a few yards until he came to a halt flat on his back and looking confused. The other fell victim to a demonstration of Galli's skill, as the Amazon thrower snapped the ball through the air, sending it arcing clear over the main brawl to connect with the head of Karlita's pursuer with a resounding 'thunk'. The ball ricocheted upward as the Goblin went down, and Karlita lunged for it, managing to make the grab grab before it hit the ground, then -- barely -- recovered her balance and ran on, yells and screams from the sidelines driving her onward.


"Well Jim, I think we can chalk that one up as a solid bit of teamwork. From the Zephyrs."

"Definitely, Bob. And the crowd seem to be trying to decide whether or not they actually like the referee in this match after how she dealt with that particularly flagrant bit of rule-breaking from the Scammers."

"Wasn't just the rules that broken there, Jim. I'm pretty sure that Goblin has more in common with a pretzel now."

"Not a very appetising one, though Bob. And speaking of appetising, the referee has called half time on the match, which means it's time for the cheerleading squads to treat us all to their show."

"I'm just hoping that the Zephyrs' cheerleaders remember that this is meant to be a family show this time, Jim. There's only so much of a performance like the one at their last match that an Ogre's heart can take."

"I'll take your word for that one, Bob. Vampires tend not to worry about that sort of thing too much. The teams are leaving the pitch -- some of them even under their own power -- and we'll leave you to the half time entertainments. But worry not, sports fans, Bob and I will be back to give you all the commentary you desire when the match picks up again for the second half!"

"Looking forward to it, Jim."


The sound of the half time show filtered down through the passageways that led down under the pitch, but anything more than a faintly musical murmur didn't make it past the chatter that almost inevitably arose when a bunch of women gathered in one place. Especially when it was a place that consisted of a vaulted chamber mostly made up a steaming pool of water, fed by underground springs and almost sinfully warm -- especially compared to the chill air up above.

With a soft sigh, Karlita lowered herself into the pool, eyes drifting half closed as the water lapped its way up the length of her smooth, bare legs. Carved stone lay a short distance beneath the surface, padded -- and waterproof -- cushions laid upon it to accommodate the backsides of anyone parking themselves in the pool, and once she'd done just that, Karlita laid back, arms stretched out along the pool's rim and the surface of the water flirting with the peaks of her breasts. Around her, other members of the team were enjoying the relaxing effects of the heat and chatting amiably to each other.

"-See the way that little bastard flew when-"

"-Look on his face when you bounced his head off the turf was hilarious-"

"-Trolls have ever even heard of a fucking bath."

Chuckles sounded here and there, and Karlita smiled along with the others, flicking a glance toward the woman who'd made that last comment. She was looking a great deal less concussed than earlier, in the wake of her particularly close encounter with the Troll in question. The attentions of the team's apothecary had certainly done her some good, even if it had taken time away from treating some of the other assorted damages the Zephyrs had picked up along the way.

Such as Galli, for example, who was probing her jaw with a certain amount of tentative caution as she checked to see if her loose teeth were any more so than the last time she'd checked. Apparently she'd gotten that last throw off a fraction of a second before a pair of low-flying Goblins had reached her.

She was also the only woman who was vaguely near the centre of the pool, mostly because Raina was right behind her, legs parted to let the thrower settle between them as Raina's hands moved in slow, sure strokes over her shoulders, massaging away tension that might interfere with Galli's aim and throwing power.

And for the hell of it, of course, which became even more obvious when Raina's fingers slipped down and around, rising up from beneath the water's surface to cup Galli's tits and give them a playful squeeze. Far from complaining, the thrower leaned back, letting the woman behind her support her weight as those fingers carried on stroking -- this time aiming for an effect that was anything but relaxing.

"I think Coach would prefer you save that energy for the pitch," Karlita commented dryly, getting a dismissive snort from Raina and a distinctly rude hand gesture from Galli.

"I think she's not going to give a shit," Joi spoke up from where she was blissfully soaking up the water's heat at Karlita's side, head tipped back and eyes closed in relaxed good humour. "Did you see that guy from CabalVision who was after an interview?"

"Yeah. Kinda cute, I thought."

"So did she. Which is why she invited him -- without his crew -- for a nice, in depth... chat."

"Oh?" Karlita asked, eyebrows rising slightly as she tried to imagine Coach actually volunteering to spend time with anyone impertinent enough to ask her questions. "And just how... in depth... was she planning to grant him?"

"Hmm... about...." Joi lifted her head, eyes opening as she raised her hands and held them about eight or nine inches apart. "That much? Not totally sure, I didn't get a good enough look at her new toy to be sure."

Understanding dawned in Karlita's mind, and not just hers, either, if the various sniggers that sounded from her teammates was any indication. She knew just what Joi meant by 'toy', since she'd been the one to actually buy it as something of a gag gift for the Zephyrs' mostly-benevolent dictatorial ruler.

Though she suspected that if that was what Coach was playing around with, it was going to be the interviewer doing the gagging. Unless, of course, she'd decided to cut straight to using the remarkably life-like strap-on on his ass.

A mental image that had her grinning more than a little malevolently as she let herself picture it.

"Maybe it'll get her to ease up on our butts a little."

"You wish," Galli murmured, then let out a soft gasp as one of Raina's hands slid down over her taut, toned belly and disappeared between her legs. The flush on the thrower's cheeks had little to do with the heat of the water, Karlita suspected.

As she watched her teammates enjoying each other, she knew damn well that it was a very different sort of heat that was starting to effect her. Nor was she the only one, as became clear as the minutes passed by. Before too long, in twos and threes, Amazons were turning to each other for a bit of mid-match fun, and as Karlita watched, the sounds of feminine pleasure accompanied the sight of hands, lips, and tongues as they slid, kissed, nibbled, sucked and licked their way across almost every available expanse of toned, athletic flesh.

Almost. By the time things were really hotting up, one of the team wasn't engaged in any of the frolics taking place around her, instead laying back against the pool's rim and observing with a lazy grin as one hand idly teased and tugged at the stiffening peaks of her nipples.

One part of her mind did, however, take a moment to express a certain curiosity as to how she was the only one still playing solo...

We can't have that, now can we, Karlita thought to herself with a quick grin. As her gaze wandered as freely as her fingers, she found herself wondering -- not for the first time -- if looks were as much a qualification for selection onto the team as strength, speed, and viciousness. There was certainly enough worth looking at around here, that was for sure... and a distinctly cruel smirk accompanied the thought of what any of the fans would give for even a glimpse of what she was looking at.

And if they'd give their balls to see, I wonder what they'd offer to get away with doing this...?

Action followed though almost instantly, and Karlita rose to her feet, water lapping around her thighs as she stepped forward and grabbed a handful of Joi's hair. The linewoman, who'd been busy suckling eagerly on one of Galli's tits, pouted sulkily ad Karlita pulled her head firmly away, and Galli herself looked scarcely any happier.

"Put a little more effort into it, Raina, hmm?"

Karlita's suggestion was greeted with a flashing grin from Raina, who swiftly grabbed Galli and turned her, catching her mouth in a hot, possessively hungry kiss. Joi leaned forward, pulling against the hold on her hair, to run her tongue over the smooth curve of the thrower's butt. Karlita let her for a moment, then gave the handful of hair in her grip a sharp tug and stepped backward. Towing Joi along with her, she backed up until she reached the pool's edge once more. The hard stone pressed against the back of her legs, and she rose up on her heels enough to perch herself on it.

Parting her legs, she made no attempt to hide the fact that the wetness between them wasn't entirely due to the waters, and raised a silent eyebrow to Joi. The linewoman looked up at her, rolling her own eyes and smirking at the less that subtle hint Karlita was putting in front of her.

"This is for that tackle in training, isn't it?" she asked dryly, and Karlita answered the question with a thin smile. In truth, it really wasn't -- she'd all but forgotten that incident -- but simply because Joi had been the nearest one within reach. In some ways, she might have preferred a man, since using one for the main use such a creature held would have been nice. A woman's touch was pleasurable, true, and certainly satisfying, but sometimes a girl just wanted to ride a good, hard dick.

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